i can’t sleep tonight…
the emptiness surrounds me
and takes me down to a place
where my eyes will not close

i can’t forget the scent
of your skin after we make love
as if the sweetness
of our bodies crashing together
turns itself into honey

the room is dark
and i can’t remember
how i got here
and how you got so far away

i pull a pillow into
my soft and warm body
the way you used to pull me into you

my thoughts scramble to run free,

they try to fly from your memory
they cannot,
but they try again anyway

From Fantasy To Reality


"I love you," he said
   and drew lines
   in the sand of his emotions
   awaiting the ocean of time
   to wash them from his heart
   when the vacation was over.
“I love you,” she said
   and etched deep crevasses in
   the rock of her emotions
   awaiting the wind of time
   to slowly and painfully
   wear them from her heart
   when he left.


her soul is
a flightless flock
of black birds

myriads of wings
flopping like drunken fish

gasping for air

knowing she was meant to fly
but unable to find the wind
needed to lift her

so she has resigned herself
to stare through the
limbs of the trees
that have grown
as thick as her disappointment

forced to steal glimpses of
her far too dormant destiny
waiting for the wind to fall
and cause the leaves to dance
so the light can swim through…

trying not to wince
as the hard rocks
beneath her soft flesh
cut into her hope…
like feathers being
plucked from her skin



Reaching for the telephone
yet again
I take a moment to breathe
and sigh
I let you go.
I did.
I must.
You are by far
the most dangerous thing
I have faced in my life.
I cannot see you
without loving you
and I cannot love you
without dying.


like the washed out letters
of your name,
i dissolved
for a time…
when i was part of you…

i was forgetting
the woman i am
and what i deserved

then i looked
at the spaces between
the stars

and it helped me
to remember
i was worth more
than faded pieces
strung about your neck
like a conquest that
you could easily
toss aside

i listened to my heartbeat
and summoned
my inner strength,
so that your colorless name
could be crossed out

it is you who is faded now

it is you who will lie about
like mostly forgotten memories

my worth is more
than the weight of your heart

you were too greedy to see
i am vast
i am unconquered
and your small heart
could never contain
the whole of me

How do you know when he really loves you? It’s when you scream and he calms you, when you slap him and he kisses you, when you cry yet he hugs you, when you tell him hate you him, he tells you he loves you.

thelovenotebook (via thelovenotebook)

the shadows that slip through fingertips

i know you will blame me
for leaving so abruptly…
without asking for help
or sharing the cancer
that ate at my hope

but don’t you see
that all of us
leave each others worlds so easily
without acknowledging it?

we are fleeting shadows,
we communicate half-there,
work half-asleep,
we give only parts of ourselves…

what can i tell you
that you don’t already know?
that life hurts?
people leave?
that a kind human touch
tastes like sugar cane,
soft, sweet, and then melts away
to be longed for over and over?

we stumble across each other
and then easily forget
the look of despair on another’s face
or how cotton candy tasted for the first time

do we not all live in a dream world?
a place of empty spaces,
seeing what we want to see,
easily forgetting the parts
that taste too bitter to swallow?

aren’t we all children of sadness?
birthed from the loins
of forgotten happiness and lost souls?

i almost looked at a stranger today.

i know you will blame me
for leaving so abruptly…


inside of me
swirls a vast ocean,

most have merely came close enough
to see the sunset
settling down between
my shoulder blades

a rare few have 
been brave enough
to dip their toes
into my inky blue waters,
stirring patterns onto my skin
as they think of dreams
they will never act upon

i am unending
and full of beauty to be discovered

where is my explorer?
the one courageous enough to
dive straight into my depths
and learn all the mystical things
nobody else can see inside of me

will there ever be one
that will find himself content
to linger in my unending pools,
allowing himself
to always be pulled back
into my tide,
night after night?

plunge into me, my lover

this universe inside of me
is waiting you


in that quiet moment
when he holds me tight
and whispers in my ear
how he found life
when he found me
and then he makes love to me
in a way that i’ve never
been touched before

tears form without want,
and race down my pale cheeks
without a sound

he gently touches them,
wiping them from my face
and asks me what he did wrong

my heart constricts…
and i cannot speak

because in that moment
all i know is that i feel
10,000 love poems being birthed
between my rib cage and lungs

they swirl inside of me
like a magic spell
waiting to be cast

he looks into my eyes
waiting for an answer

but how do you tell someone
the way they love you
has created a lifetime of fairytales
winding around inside your soul
and you don’t know
how to pull yourself
back to reality?

the only answer i can find
is wrapping my body around his
and never letting go

upside down

i am not the kind of girl
that turns heads with her beauty
but i am the kind that will
turn your heart and flip it
to the bottom of your chest
so that every breath you take
sounds like my name beating
softly in your ears