your gaze rests upon my shoulder
like a black hole
sinking me into an oblivion
where only our two heartbeats
will be heard

I fear to look up

the nuclear energy flashing 
in your eyes, 
the places on my neck
that rate on fire
where your lips could ravish, 
the edge-of-combustion feeling
inside of me when I see you…

this contagion of desire
that sinks into the skin above my heart
is a garden I don’t dare stroll into
for fear I might find I desperately need
a life filled with only our laughter

I don’t want you to live inside
of me like a secret wind
with all the loneliness of a leaf
in the forest 
who is denied love through the dark green spaces 
that it forever remains
where sunlight has forgotten it
and its unreachable happiness is
a sadness that moans and
pushes its solitudes 
deeply into the root of its tree
and where loneliness is a desperate cry
after it has been torn from its anchor

love is a dying hope where
my heart can lie restless
like the leaf farthest from the stars
so, please not too close

your nuclear eyes 
are a bargaining chip I can’t afford
as they stir my soul into 
an endless dance 
of wanting and hope
the source of possible pain
where I could find myself offering 
my soul in wholeness

a death for life
simply to light a fire
on my shoulders from your mouth
where my skin turns into
a newborn star
a flash of radiance that
awakens the universe

your touch could, quite possibly,
be a never ending
creation of universe within universe
a collision of existence
like life itself blown apart
where the end of the universe is 
where two dormant hearts awaken
and cause life to recreate itself

my black night that asks
the moon for her light

you make me want to love,
or die, or leave

and this confusion stirs
in the pit of my stomach
like a stone in the darkest place
of the ocean

so I break away 
from your gaze
and fade back into the shadows
where my heart talks to the stars once again
to dream of a nuclear kiss
that I may never have the courage to accept
for my heart cannot afford 
another death



from my bedroom
I listen to the last summers rain
softly tickling the dehydrated earth
little kisses of love straight from heaven
like a beautiful dance
to remind an old lover she can be young again
if only for one more season
the sound echoes
across the empty walls
as if to tell me
my life has been parched
and dry, waiting on something
for long enough
it is time to fill it up
and let summer explode in my heart
to fill its walls
with colored delicate petals
pregnant with promise
and splendid fruits
nourishing my hope
as love blossoms underneath my skin


what did you think of yourself
as you were kissing my scars
and making promises you knew
you never intended to keep?

did you feel like you
were a hero giving charity
to a broken soul?

don’t give yourself
more credit
than you deserve.

those scars are like you,
just reminders
of what i don’t want in life…
although, unlike the rest,
you couldn’t even dig deep enough
to leave a mark.

upside down

i am not the kind of girl
that turns heads with her beauty
but i am the kind that will
turn your heart and flip it
to the bottom of your chest
so that every breath you take
sounds like my name beating
softly in your ears


do not think that I am like
a piece of hand-blown glass,
transparent and breakable

you will not crush me
underneath your feet
if you walk away

i am fragile, yes…

but don’t fool yourself
into thinking that
your exit will
be the undoing of me

i have already
constructed walls
around my heart
thick enough to 
to survive a hurricane

and between you and i —
you are one raindrop from a
lone spring cloud,
but i am a tsunami
raised from an earthquake
that already ripped apart the core

so do not think
you have to protect me
from yourself

i am telling you now-
it is you who will fracture
into unidentifiable pieces

it is you
who will drown

i will always fly back to you


there is a comfort in knowing
that someone out there
understands why i still reach
for those broken dreams
that were just out of my reach
and the whimsical way my
fairy heart wants to take flight

and you really get it
you see me
past the wooded rings 
of years of famines in my heart
past where my roots have been
growing and just… waiting

you see the me i have not yet become,
the me i can be,
and perhaps, you see it more clearly than i

and the fact that 
my soul is not transparent to you
means you own the net
that will catch my butterfly soul
and set my fragile wings free

to fly where i should be
to believe i can reach the sun
and drift like a leaf through the forest
to rest on the glow of the moon

and because it is you 
who set my wings a flutter
to reach farther and farther
into the sky of my dreams

i will always come back
to rest on your shoulder
when my wings can’t find the air

fear of expression


It hurts
to write the words
that make their way
slowly and painfully
from my hand to the page
I’m afraid
their appearance
will not be as clear
as the time
of their writing
Or your ear
will hear a
bigger word or
higher pitch than
those I have written
As my hand
flows to open
up the darkest
recess inside me
my broken soul revealed
I fear
you might scream
or laugh
so I linger in the darkness
staring at empty pages


touch me as if
i am made of moonlight
and your fingertips
are dispersing the stars
into my silken skin

place your lips
upon my mouth
and breathe into me
a fire made of
volcanic cinders
that erupt
when you place yourself
inside my hidden places

swim into the depths of me
and let the tide
crash us into each other
again and again

my love,
if you worship me
like this
i promise every time
i get on my own knees
it won’t be to pray


i can’t sleep tonight…
the emptiness surrounds me
and takes me down to a place
where my eyes will not close

i can’t forget the scent
of your skin after we make love
as if the sweetness
of our bodies crashing together
turns itself into honey

the room is dark
and i can’t remember
how i got here
and how you got so far away

i pull a pillow into
my soft and warm body
the way you used to pull me into you

my thoughts scramble to run free,

they try to fly from your memory
they cannot,
but they try again anyway