i can’t sleep tonight…
the emptiness surrounds me
and takes me down to a place
where my eyes will not close

i can’t forget the scent
of your skin after we make love
as if the sweetness
of our bodies crashing together
turns itself into honey

the room is dark
and i can’t remember
how i got here
and how you got so far away

i pull a pillow into
my soft and warm body
the way you used to pull me into you

my thoughts scramble to run free,

they try to fly from your memory
they cannot,
but they try again anyway

orchestrated kiss


have I ever told you
when you pull
a single note
out of the air
with your saxaphone of gold
you make me want
to stop you with
the stirring silence
of a kiss
violently playing?
perhaps we ought to go over it one more time…


you always asked me
what is hiding
behind my eyes…

i always replied
it would be espionage
for me to tell you
the secrets they hold

then you would say it was magic…
the way my eyes were the color
of red-rust…
like a dark queen
with a hint of the devil

and then you would laugh
and say i was softer
than your own breath
and try to touch my face

bitter flecks of past moments
like this
sting at me like frostbite
and you are at the center of it

always without words
when i needed them from you,

while your greedy fingers
slipped past my lips
into my throat
to pull everything out of me
as you wanted

today i pull splinters
from underneath my fingertips…
each one marked with a letter
that spells your name

"immarcesible", i whispered once

you looked at me confused

i told you that it means
unable to be erased
or forgotten

you smiled coyly
and thought it meant i love you
and won’t leave you

i knew it meant
something else



What is it
in the way you looked at me
your eyes glistening,
soft as a holy lake
caught unaware in
the hidden fold
of a virgin mountain?
What is it
in the way you moved
and caught your breath
as my hair
brushed your face?
Where was I
so wrapped up in myself
that I didn’t see you
until now?
I fell in love
with the perfect play
of your hands
touching my skin.
Forgive my boldness-
I am caught-
give yourself to me.

Are you really here? 


my throat is
a cavern
full of ghosts,
dark and sharp,
cutting me when
memories push through
that should’ve been
kept silent

its phantoms
weave and slip
around my larynx,
tightening themselves
until i can’t breathe,
full of the things
i should’ve said
but never did

there are days
when they gather,
so heavy and laden
with listlessnes,
i fear
i will gag
from the weight
of them all

and on some days
my tongue falls
into sink holes
that feel like
an oblivion
of missed

the past is gone,
out of reach…

but i cannot bury
the ghostly voices
of the things
i never dared
to say


she holds a power in her eyes
that she doesn’t understand

others can see it,
and sometimes they feel it too;
it’s a magic that makes one linger
and unable to look away

but so far no one
has been able to break the code
hidden beneath her lids

their beauty is profound
but conflicting,
carrying the weight of both sadness
and eternal hope…
intertwined like light and shadows

someone once said
that gazing into her eyes
was like waking up early
to view dawn from a mountaintop

as you watch the darkness creep out
and the prisms of color burst open
somehow you are filled
with the awareness
that in that very second
something is dying
and coming alive
in the same time

they say
her eyes are like daybreak
when the expansion of the sky
breaks in on itself
bringing life and death
in one fell swoop

From Fantasy To Reality


"I love you," he said
   and drew lines
   in the sand of his emotions
   awaiting the ocean of time
   to wash them from his heart
   when the vacation was over.
“I love you,” she said
   and etched deep crevasses in
   the rock of her emotions
   awaiting the wind of time
   to slowly and painfully
   wear them from her heart
   when he left.


her soul is
a flightless flock
of black birds

myriads of wings
flopping like drunken fish

gasping for air

knowing she was meant to fly
but unable to find the wind
needed to lift her

so she has resigned herself
to stare through the
limbs of the trees
that have grown
as thick as her disappointment

forced to steal glimpses of
her far too dormant destiny
waiting for the wind to fall
and cause the leaves to dance
so the light can swim through…

trying not to wince
as the hard rocks
beneath her soft flesh
cut into her hope…
like feathers being
plucked from her skin



Reaching for the telephone
yet again
I take a moment to breathe
and sigh
I let you go.
I did.
I must.
You are by far
the most dangerous thing
I have faced in my life.
I cannot see you
without loving you
and I cannot love you
without dying.


like the washed out letters
of your name,
i dissolved
for a time…
when i was part of you…

i was forgetting
the woman i am
and what i deserved

then i looked
at the spaces between
the stars

and it helped me
to remember
i was worth more
than faded pieces
strung about your neck
like a conquest that
you could easily
toss aside

i listened to my heartbeat
and summoned
my inner strength,
so that your colorless name
could be crossed out

it is you who is faded now

it is you who will lie about
like mostly forgotten memories

my worth is more
than the weight of your heart

you were too greedy to see
i am vast
i am unconquered
and your small heart
could never contain
the whole of me